The Love Dare: Love is a covenant – Day 40

January 30, 2018 Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Google+ Build a home,Find love,Friendship,Relationship,Share the word

Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God – Ruth 1:16

Congratulations. You have reached the fortieth and last day in our 40-day-love dare. I hope and trust that this journey has been an eye opener and has transformed your thinking and understanding in regard to love in marriage. But, hey who says that you have to stop today? Why not run it again either sequentially or in key selected topics? It doesn’t have to stop. It can be and should your day-to-day lifestyle. If you have not managed to grab yourself a copy of the book, ensure you get yourself one. If for one reason or the other, you are not able to get one – drop me a note.

I will be giving out three copies of the love dare to three individuals, who are keen to transform their marriages.  All you need to is to share your experience here so far in the 40-day love dare, and how you think by getting the actual book it will help you rejuvenate your marriage and also the marriages of those close to you.

If you had an opportunity to sign a contract, whether its related to your employment, a sale agreement, wedding supplier agreement, tenancy agreement or even a political alliance of “like minded” parties, you will have noticed one common element. The contracts are based on mistrust. You have strong inclination that the other party is most likely going to fail you, and probably disappear with your money.

You take time to go through the contract, very keen to note clauses that are unfriendly to you with the view of having them reviewed, and seeking even tough clauses for the other party – just in case they default. The objective of the contract is to cover yourself, and although your obligations are clearly mentioned, you are very keen on the obligations and responsibilities of the other party. You insist everything must be in writing, because you don’t trust the other guy. You are very clear that you will not meet your end of the bargain, if the other party does not meet theirs. You are keen to ensure that in that agreement, it’s the other party that starts meeting an obligation (e.g paying for land or car deposit), before you proceed to the next step.

Marriage on the other hand, is quite different. It’s a covenant and not a contract. And although marriage has an exit clause of “till death do us part”, it is meant to be a lifelong commitment. A covenant is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone – that your promise is unconditional. It is spoken before God out of love for another. A covenant is for the benefit of others and comes with unlimited responsibility towards them. It has no time limit or expiration date.  While on the other hand, a contract can be broken or dissolved by mutual consent.

There are several covenants mentioned in the Bible. Like the one God made with Noah that He will never destroy the earth again with water, the one where God promised Abraham a great lineage that will emerge from him despite old age and the final covenant that God made with us – giving up His own son to die for us and redeem us. We are saved by Grace and not by actions. There is nothing we can do on our own, to qualify for God’s Grace, but He still gives us the Grace all the same.

God hates divorce. The fact that He has used a marriage to illustrate the kind of covenant He has with His church, explains at lengths the place of marriage in God’s own heart. If you do have a relationship with Christ and understand His forgiveness to man, then you will not struggle with the issue of forgiveness and love in your marriage.  By realizing how unworthy you are before God, yet He keeps forgiving you, you will be the first one to forgive your spouse and Love her as Christ Loved the church.

A marriage is not an institution where you will lay down your terms and conditions that must be met by your spouse; instead its the place where you will stay without reservations the things that you will do to and for your spouse, whether they appreciate it or not. It’s the place where you will choose to forgive them, even when you think they don’t deserve it. It’s the place where you will cease to think of – what’s in it for me? Instead your focus will be; what will be my contribution to this “project”? What more can I do to make it even greater, even when it’s my spouse who would appear to “benefit” the most?

When the world is full of negative talk regarding the “many” marriages that are failing, choose this day to make yours different. Refuse to be guided by a “contract behavior” towards your spouse where he or she must meet certain conditions for you to meet your side of the bargain, instead choose to be guided by a “covenant behavior” where your only questions are what more can you do to make things better for your spouse and for both of you as well?

The time is now, my dear friend and reader of this blog, to renew your covenant of Love in all sincerity and surrender. Choose this day to love, to cherish and to hold your spouse till death do you part. Never let go off your marriage. Fight for it.


Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows privately in your home or before a minister and family and friends present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your spouse.